Where you put your genitals

This morning the news made me wail with despair,
Because once again Christians prove that they care
Not a jot for poor or the different or strange.
They just want to lock them all up in a cage.

So I thought I’d write down what I feel in a blog,
But I know that it can be a kind of a slog
To read that I’m having a rant and a rave
About stuff that would make Jesus turn in his grave.

So down came the spirit of old Doctor Seuss
And gave me a big old kick up the caboose.
You’ll call me a liberal moaner and whiner,
But my heart was just broken by North Carolina.

In case you have missed what was done by that state,
They had an intelligent, grown-up debate:
Can two men be married, or two women wed?
(Because love really matters, as Jesus Christ said).

And to you and to me, intelligent folk,
The whole thing sounds like it is some kind of joke.
Because what a guy does with his willy or bum
Makes really no difference, when all’s said and done.

Whoever a girl wants to fondle and cuddle
Should not get your policies all in a muddle.
And who a chap wants to lie down with and kiss
Is really no reason for knickers to twist.

So yes, as you guessed it, conservative creeps
Have decided that gay people aren’t really peeps.
They can’t have the right to be in love and marry
As long as it’s in Carolina they tarry.

If you think that marriages really do matter
Then surely you’re proving you’re mad as a hatter
To say its illegal, immoral and rude
To outlaw the love tween a guy and his dude.

Your holy book teaches you how to be caring
By loving, forgiving, and property sharing.
But nowadays “Christian” seems to mean greed,
Although Lennon told us its love that we need.

Your holy book tells you that you mustn’t kill.
Respect one another, and don’t rob the till.
But you’re starving the poor, there’s a queue on death row,
And you say gays can’t love, as if you’d even know.

You don’t care for poverty, don’t care for peace,
You back crazy wars in the wild middle east.
And you don’t care for difference, the sick or the lame,
You don’t care that Jesus would think you’re insane.

Or care for the love Lennon said that we need,
Or for backs without beds, or mouths without feed.
You don’t care for science or air that we breathe,
Cos it isn’t what Fox told you you should believe.

Your closed-mind will open for any old guff,
Like invisible, mind-reading men up above,
Who magically conjured up all space and time.
And I’m sorry this ends with a rather forced rhyme…

But when it comes down to the bare fundamen-i-tals
You really just care about gay men and genitals.